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When Should You Say “I Love You?”

When Should You Say “I Love You?”


  • Why Relationships Matter
  • Find a therapist to strengthen relationships

Key points

  • According to one survey, men take an average of 88 days to tell a partner “I love you,” compared to a woman’s 134.
  • When it comes to saying “I love you,” we should respect our partners and not expect them to be ready to say it just because we are.
  • Ultimately, there is no precise formula for when to say “I love you.” Whenever you feel love is when you should express it.

Hearing a partner say “I love you” for the first time is regarded as one of the highlights of a romantic relationship. However, people are often uncertain about when to declare their love, and whether to be the first to do so or to wait until the other has given an indication that they feel the same way. Is there a best time to reveal your heart? Does the timing make any difference, or all the difference?

When Should You Say It?

Romantic love expresses our genuine attitudes. Revealing our loving heart to a partner is immeasurably valuable for communication and personal flourishing. However, such self-disclosure makes you more vulnerable and may put your partner in an uncomfortable situation, especially if his or her attitude is different from yours. There are various important considerations in this regard. Take, for example, these common (and conflicting) advices about when to tell your partner “I love you”: